MIA

this week has been rather hard on me. hubby's off to Paka for the entire week. adel and I were left to fend for our own selves. work has been more than hectic due to tight deadlines. but i did not really commit myself to work. i'd leave the office around 8pm. that's considered late in this present situation. i'd feel guilty for being late. late in fetching adel up from MIL. i feel like a bad mother. and i also feel guilty for ditching work early and leaving my colleague in despair. uggghh. i dunno, i think without hubby, i am almost paralyzed. i don't have any support. not that i rely on him all of the time but it's just times like this where i really really have to work, he's just, well...missing.

moving on

so we've moved out from the old apartment into this flat. it's super small. the moving part was excruciating. not for me but for hubby and others who helped us in the process. i didn't realized i had so much stuff until we moved out. but i am not by any means, a hoarder. i just have lots of plates, pots and pans and clothes. oooh...and furniture pieces. all were bought to facilitate the old apartment. but in this small flat of ours that we involuntary call home (hopefully, just for a year) all those good things will not be put to good use. simply because there's no space. we are definitely saving up to buy us a house. insyaAllah it will happen next year. either under construction or sub-sale, we have to move out. my head cannot work in such small space. i'm even going on a cooking strike. i will not cook for a year. it's not that i don't like the kitchen. it's just that i don't feel safe cooking (or eating for that matter!) there because it's small and old and smelly.

adel has been sick for the past few days which made me worried sick. i think it all stems out from the whole moving in and moving out drama. kesian dia. he was shivering and all. vomited a lot and even pooped blood. doc said it was nothing but high fever. of course tak puas hati. takkan he had all that because of high fever. apparently the antibiotics had caused him to poop blood. with his temperature rising and stuff, the flat pulak sangat2 panas. not helping in adel's recovery at all. and adel was exceptionally clingy. sbb demam kot. nak pegi mane semua kena angkut dia. haiyooo. had to take EL yesterday because of the little guy. poor thing. kesian tengok dia. alhamdulillah, the fever has subsided a bit. takut ok bila anak sakit! nampak sangat tak pandai jaga!

so moving on, we are trying our level best to be patient and hope for the best to come. even though duit byk abes bulan ni sbb pindah, maxis bill melambung, credit card exceed max..ape lagi. semua benda tak bestlah nak jadi bulan ni..mintak2 dimurahkan rezeki lagi, ameen!

Ngeee

I'm still around :p.

Busy sangatlaa. Sangat busy. Ooooo...did I mentioned I was busy?!

Work has been tremendously overwhelming but I enjoyed every moment of it. I know. I am a freak of nature. Did fess up to my boss about this unexpected work load but the boss thinks that I complaint too much and that I am not grateful. I hate to say this. But it's true. He said that people give me work (a lot of it) because they trust me. And I should not complaint because this will dilute the trust. So true. So I had to fix my attitude. So now when people throw me things, I only smile and do the work patiently. Because I know, I always gain some valuable experience out of this and it's always good to learn. Hence, I've stopped complaining about work save for the busy part.

We celebrated Adel's birthday a couple of weeks ago. I was excited. As always. Remember Adel's birthday cake which I planned and ordered ages ago? The cake crumbled and collapsed as soon as I arrived home. It was painful. Although it tasted super good because it was peanut-butter and jelly, I had to find a new cake pronto. We went to Bisou, KLCC to acquire a new birthday cake. It was nowhere as perfect or tasty as the one that crumbled. But we just had to settle for it.

Our place was small so everyone cramped in the apartment. I kinda felt sorry to those who came. There weren't enough seating to the extend that people had to sit on the floor. We served penne arabiatta, sheperd's pie, bihun goreng, salad, chicken sandwiches, pavlova, brownies, oreo cheese cupcakes and some other goodies. The event was overall OK and I think Adel enjoyed himself. Despite not having time to sleep during daytime, Adel managed to entertained his guests at night with his antics. Love him. Love him to bits. We had customized jars with jelly drops, ADEL cookies and cupcakes for the adult's door-gifts and we gave alphabet books to babies. I've uploaded pics on my fb btw.

Can't believe my baby is 1. He has grown so big and naughty. He jumps a lot. Runs a lot. Cries when I say "No". But even that, he still manages to melt my heart. Love kissing his neck every morning sebab sangat masam! Oooh Adel..what do I do without you? Seriously.

Hubby pon busy jugak sekarang. He's always off to Kemaman and Lumut every week. It's a pain in the ass really. Not having to see him and having to do everything myself. I do appreciate the bonding time spent with Adel but I still need support. I need hubby around. I cannot do this by myself. I hope YOU are reading this. Although the pay is good and all, is it really worth it?

Oooo..new development, the landlord text hubby yesterday morning. He wants us to move out in 2 months time. WTH. We've done so much to the place and now we have to move out. Apparently the landlord's son wants to move in after getting married. In the meantime, we nomads must find us a new place. I don't mind moving but it's just exhausting, kan? What more since we've done so much to the place. Bloody annoying I tell you. The rent in that area is also mind-blowing. Bloody expensive. How-la? 

Went out last Thursday night to a dinner party with UIA friends to celebrate Shuey! Because she's getting married like next week. I ordered some exquisite cupcakes with "boobies" and "birds" as the main feature. I think it was funny but some did find it repulsive. Ada aku kesah? Hehe. But we had a good time that night and I've missed a lot of friends gatherings so was very thankful for this gathering. To Shuey, many congratulations! No advises, sorry. Because I'm still figuring out my own marriage :p  

So this is what happened to Adel, hubby and I for the past couple of days. You can sense from this post that I am far from thrilled about life at this moment in time :(.

*sigh*

Happy Birthday Adel Mikail!

Dear Adel,

I remembered clearly how your daddy and I felt when we held this in our hands:

Positive!

Excited? Happy? Doubtful? We thought of everything because we were unsure of life. We were unsure of ourselves.

But this is what you turn out to be:

Khusyuk watching Astro Oasis

You turn out all right for a one year old, kan? LOL!

And it all happened in one year and nine months! 

Allah has definitely blessed us with a handsome-looking angel!

And today sayang, you are officially one! Mummy remembered giving birth to you as if it was yesterday. You are worth every cries and pain (so mummy took epidural - I would have tahan the pain for you anyhow you know :p). There are no words that can describe the enormity of love we have for you. You are everything to us.

Happy Birthday to you!

Loads of love,

Mummy and Daddy xx

Cuhrazee

I've been unfaithful to my blog. LOL! I just felt like typing that!

Oklah, I've been super busy. So what's new kan? What more with hubby's new work which requires him to travel a lot, I have a lot on my plate now. It's like I'm biting more than I can chew.

My little champ's birthday is like NEXT WEEK. I am super excited. He's finally one! I had a fantastic time with Adel during hubby's absence. It's like I really bonded with him. He'd lepak next to me when we watch the telly, play around the kitchen area while I cook, nod when asked "Nak shushu tak?", nestled around my neck when dozing off - he's just super cute! We have also started brushing his teeth! Yang, at current, ada tujuh batang tuh! It all started on one fine morning when I was bathing him. We would normally chat on how warm he'd like his bath to be, sekali tuh, when he opened his mouth, it smelled funny and err..stinky! I immediately told hubby and we bought him his very first Oral-B toothbrush and Kodomo Lion apple toothpaste. Aiyoo, anak bujang aku sorang nih!

His party is well on it's way. My sister is helping a lot especially for decorations. The menu should be sorted out soon. The invites was just sent out just now via sms. It's a small party which will be celebrated with close friends and relatives. Am not expecting a lot of guests. Maybe 20 plus-ish. And the apartment is small and cramped, it cannot accommodate huge crowds. So takpelah, nanti dia kawen, I'll try to make the event bigger than mine, LOL!

Too in love with...

 

My friend, Sasha, thinks I'm too in love with my son. Another friend of mine, Aliza, thinks it's OK to be too in love with him but it would create problems later. I have to admit. I am obsessed with him. Like I think about him night and day. Or when he babble or babytalk, I would drop almost everything in an instant just to hear him talk. And knocked my head ever so hard to make sense of what he's saying. Hugging him constantly and jump with victory knowing the fact that he prefers me over his dad. To me, Adel is just the cutest thing ever. I guess that's natural because he is a part of me and I am as much a part of him. So I think it's OK to be obsessed and to be very much in love with the little one.

I have started talking to hubby about having another little one. In fact, I've already come out with a potential name for my future son. Pathetic, kan? I can't help it. I mean, just look at Adel, he's so angelic. Makes me feel like a want to have a basket full of babies. OK, be careful with what you wish *grins*. But am I ready? Was I ready the first time round? Definitely, no. But Adel just takes my breath away. He makes the impossible, possible. The unbelievable, believable. The unreasonable, reasonable. For now, he is my raison d'etre. I love him. It doesn't matter whether it's too much or too little. In this case, it's a tad bit more than just too much. The point is, I love and adore him and there is nothing I won't do to make him feel loved, safe and protected. 

Makes me wonder, would this continue once I start having more babies? Time will tell.

   

Adel turns 11 months!

Adel sayang,

You turn 11 months yesterday! Forgive mummy for not posting this yesterday. I've been ridiculously busy that I don't even have time to comb my hair *hangs head*. Takpe2. As long as I do post something to commemorate your growing up milestone kan, sayang? I don't have much to say now because I'm saving it for next month *winks*. But I only have to say this, you can seriously walk! I'm proud of you sayang. Really am. If you'd ask me to carry you in my tummy for another 9 months pon mummy sanggup. Because I love you THAT much.

Till next month!

Love you sayang!

Mummy xxx

I love him :)

Adel turns 10 months!

Adel sayang,

You are 10 months today! Yay! 2 more months before you officially hit 1! Mummy is super excited, lol! A lot has happened this month. You had, by far, the worst fever ever which subsequently broke into this serious red rash on your skin. Mummy and daddy were super worried. We took you to the docs twice because we were worried sick. You now like to stand on your own two feet, harass daddy's new telly, eat bread, help mummy cook in the kitchen, play with mummy's spice rack and potatoes and oohh you like shower time! Such a hassle to get you out of your tub because if possible you'd like to get all wrinkly under the waters, lol! It's so difficult to change your diapers nowadays too because you constantly roll over. You get all pissy if someone grabs your toy from your hands. You like to imitate others - like coughing after mama ngah coughs, lol! But most important of all, you've become such a darling! You like to smile! Like seriously smile and this without fail, brightens up my day ;) Plus, mama ngah has been babysitting you for the past one week and I'll post pictures of you under her care in due course.  You also had your second trip to Port Dickson this month. You just love the feel of the sand beneath your feet. I think I have  pictures of that *checking*. Adel, mummy loves you so much. So much! More than you can ever think of!

Love,

Mummy

xxx

Roseola

We don't think Adel has measles because the spots or mumps are disappearing as we speak.  So I googled for explanations on babies with high fever and red spots or rashes. My search resulted in "Roseola". I was relieved to know that it's not as serious as measles but am still worried as to why Adel contracted this disease. Dahla was quite alarmed when the article states that Roseola is a kind of herpes virus!?

Below are explanations on Roseola as a result of me self-diagnosing Adel: 

My baby has a spotty, pinkish-red rash on his stomach. Could it be roseola?

If your baby recently had a fever and now has a spotty, raised or flat, rosy-pink rash, it could be roseola, also called roseola infantum.

Roseola is a fairly mild and common viral illness that usually strikes children between 6 months and 3 years of age. Roseola is caused by a kind of herpes virus, although not the type that's sexually transmitted.

What are the symptoms of roseola?

It's possible to have the virus without having noticeable symptoms. But roseola usually starts out with a sudden, relatively high fever, often above 103 degrees Fahrenheit.

The fever typically lasts three to five days and may end abruptly, followed by the telltale rash. The rash may last for days or only hours.

The rash is pink and may have small flat spots or raised bumps. These spots may have a lighter "halo" around them and may turn white if you press on them.

The rash isn't itchy or uncomfortable, and contact with the rash itself doesn't spread the illness. It's usually seen on the trunk and neck, but it can extend to the arms, legs, and face.

If your baby has roseola, he may also be irritable and tired and have mild diarrhea, a decreased appetite, and swollen eyelids. The lymph nodes in his neck and at the base of his skull may also be a bit enlarged. In general, children with roseola don't appear especially ill, considering how high their fevers get.

About 10 to 15 percent of children with roseola have a febrile seizure. If this happens, your baby may become unconscious and jerk his arms, legs, or facial muscles for two or three minutes. He may also lose control of his bladder or bowels.

Although frightening, fever-induced seizures in young children are seldom serious and rarely harmful. If you can, try to time the length of the seizure. Your baby's doctor will want to know how long the episode lasted.

Should I call the doctor?

Yes. Ask your baby's doctor what her guidelines are for calling when your baby has a fever. (A well-child visit is a good time to do this.)

She may suggest, for example, that you call if your baby is 2 months or younger and has a fever of 100.4 degrees F or higher; if he's 3 to 6 months and has a fever of 101 degrees F or higher; and if he's 6 months or older and has a fever of 103 degrees F or higher.

Call the doctor if your baby has an unexplained rash or a febrile seizure. The doctor will ask about your baby's symptoms, and she may want to take a look at him.

Found the above from here.

OMG!! Measles?!

Was what I said in front of the doc. His high temperature has subsided but yesterday I noticed these visible bright red spots or mumps on his legs, thighs and some part of his hands. The doc ruled out dengue and insect bites but thought that it could have been caused by the allergic reaction to the antibiotics. But I wasn't convinced. He's been taking antibiotics since Monday but those spots only appeared yesterday. Needless to say I was all panicky. So I asked the doc if it's really measles, what should I do? She said wait for a day and if the spots are still there then we should get Adel admitted because he is under the age of one and he has yet to get his measles vaccination. 

I am going crazy.

Very. Worried.

I am supposed to be at home now nursing Adel. He had a very high temperature yesterday. It was very worrying. Went to the docs and she said he had a temperature. Duhh. But I was all jumpy and concerned. I asked the doc whether its dengue? She giggled much to my astonishment. She said to monitor him closely in the next 3 days. If Adel's temperature is still there and worst, rising, then we should go to the hospital. She prescribed him ubat demam and antibiotics. Spoke to Aunty Alang last night. She told me to always make sure that Adel's head is wet so I wrapped his head with a damped towel on top of his Kool Fever on his forehead. Risau sangat malam tadi. Kept on changing the damped towel every 10 minutes and fed him with ubat deman every 4 hours. The antibiotics are to be taken once a day. Alhamdulillah, so far the temperature has subsided but am still worried though. Very worried.

But here I am, at work. Worried. I can't take the day off. Japanese clients wants to execute the agreements at 2.30pm today. See, the disadvantages of being a working mum. I feel like a bad mother already *hangs head*. I am worried. Very. Worried.

If I had known better,...

I just woke up like 10 minutes ago. Courtesy of Adel, of course. Hubby ended up sleeping in the living room with the new tv. Yes, he finally bought one. I was super relieved to have it all over and done with. I can no longer pretend to be interested in tvs and all its magnificent electronic hoo-haas. For I cannot tell any difference between a Sony or a Samsung, I mean, it's just different by name je kan? Butttttttt I did get to gobble on yet another slice of the yummylicious red velvet cake from Bijoux or Bisou and I gladly washed it down with a can of ice cold Coke. Second time in this month and nope, not helping at all!

Anyhoo, was tossing and turning after having my sleep disrupted by Adel. Hubby finally came in but I was suddenly wide awake and had the sudden urge to eat nasi padang. I had to divert this urge of mine into something else, so that pretty much explains why am blogging now.

I thought to myself, what I would've done if  had known better. And I manage to make a list of that:

1. I would have waited a couple of more years before getting hitched - I dated hubby for 7 years. I thought I knew him inside out. But marrying him was like discovering a new side of him altogether. It's like he's a stranger to me. But I learn to accept this along the way. And marriage just takes a big part of you away. It definitely changes you. It takes so much of your time, money, effort and  emotions that you begin to question yourself, is this all worth it? If I had known better, I would have waited. I know when getting myself into this that marriage was a big serious thing and there's more to it than just the cliche "I want to spend the rest of my life with you", but I didn't expect it to be a LOT more that what I have initially thought. It's draining. I would have waited for many reasons, financially, emotionally and stability to name a few. But it did happened. I am married. Do I have any regrets? No. But maybe if I had known better and could have waited a little, I might be able to handle all THIS with dignity and patience. But I get it at times, what doesn't break you makes you stronger and am learning all this with time. And I did gained something beautiful out of this (no, not weight gain), an adorable son whom I cannot get enough of. So there is a hikmah behind all this and I pray to Allah that he guides me along the way.
2. I would not have lived with PIL after marriage - I understand now that even if you've dated someone for several years, going out with him and marrying him is two totally separate things. So you definitely need time to get the feel and accustomed to that person when sharing the same bed and living in the same house. I wish I could have done that in solitude. I need to know him on my own timing. I need to know and assume my responsibilities as a wife on my own timing and preferably in a situation when there's only me and him. My PIL did not interfere with my marriage but their presence made it hard for me to understand the union of me and him. I guess you could say I was shocked and I was definitely overwhelmed. What more with the fact that I was immediately pregnant after just tying the knot. So I guess if I had known better, I'd like to be in a position where there is only me and him and not the rest of the world. Because we need time to work and build on 'us' which I did not get the chance of doing then and am struggling to live my life as a wife and mother now.
3. I would not have stayed with PIL during confinement - I learned that even if you're close or OK with them before marriage and during pregnancy, confinement can put you in a different ball game altogether. I made the mistake of going back to them during my third week of confinement. It broke me. You become very vulnerable and sensitive during confinement. Maybe more in my case because I felt uber sad that mummy was not there with me when I delivered my boy and is not here to be a part of his life. It affected me a lot. So much so that I think I became a different person. I was very sensitive. Confinement with Aunty Alang was good. She took care of me and I had a great time with her because she's my relative and I get to bond with my cousins which did not happen before this. So I felt close to them. Moving to my PIL on the third week was just the straw that broke the camel's back.  I felt lonely and very insecure of everything. It doesn't help also that they their own style of taking care a mother and newborn during confinement was totally different to the style that I had been adapting with Aunty Alang. Every thing became an issue. I cried every 5 minutes to the extent that my OB advised hubby to bring me back to Aunty Alang because I was depressed. It did caused a riff in my marriage and my relationship with PIL. The damage has been done. Was I sorry for the way I acted out? Not entirely. Because no one understood what I was facing and dealing with. No mother, just delivered a baby, hubby did not stay with me during confinement, you do the maths.
4. I would have told mummy so many things about me - But I didn't and she left too soon. I love her with all my life. It breaks me not having the chance to say all that I wanted to say. She's an inspiration to me. She was a very strong women but she was unlucky in love. I have so many things to tell her. But because of a certain crises that had happened to us, I became distant from her. I regret that the most. I was driven by my ego, granted I was a teenager back then, so I was fueling with hate. If I had known that she'd be leaving us, I would have made the effort to rehabilitate our relationship. But it's too late and it didn't happen. I did get to say "I love you" to her before she left for the OT and that was the only time we saw her conscious, to which she replied in a broken voice, "I love you too". And that still lingers on my mind until now. 
5. I would have accepted the post at Petronas - I am now a lawyer and I deal with Islamic banking and finance matters. I like my line of work but with all the commotion and uncertainties revolving my department, it got me thinking and saying, "Mesti senang hidup if accept kerja kat Petronas haritu". I know mummy wanted me to take up the offer but I was arrogant and adamant and I insisted that Islamic banking was my passion. I'm entering into my third year of practice and I feel that I need to move on. So if I had known about my boss leaving and all the nonsense that has been happening recently, it made me feel that it's better for me to be in a secure environment. And that could've been Petronas. But back then, the pay was so low and that was what enticed me to practice. Tamak kan?
6. I would have breastfed Adel exclusively - but I didn't and it wasn't because I didn't want to but it was because I can't. Adel won't latche so I had to express my milk for fear of engorged breasts. But if you don't breastfeed directly, you'd be well dried out even during confinement. And that is what happened to me. I learned that if you breastfeed, you can lose weight easily. I'm heading no where in that department. I'm still fat, fat and fat. My sister calls me garfield because she says I'm fat and cute *sigh*. My weight is my biggest issue to date. I used to work out at the gym religiously and I lost a lost of weight. I was never a skinny girl. I think I was plum and fat all my life but this time around it's a lot more worst because I still have my pregnancy fat on top of my existing body fat. Hubby thinks I only need to tone up and I don't know which planet he is living in. Because at this rate, it takes more than toning up. I need to put my face on someone else's body! So yeah, if I had known, I would have consulted the experts on breastfeeding.

I can't think of anything more to add in the list above. I think I've written down the important ones. If you're reading this, take it with a pinch of salt. The above are life's truths. It happened to me. And look how I turn out ;p 

Busy Busy Bumblebee

I've not been updating this space regularly. I've been swamped with work, work and work. I've been terribly busy. I even feel like a bad mother and wife at times. I've not been cooking proper home meals save for the last couple of days when I did mac and cheese and beef stew. I did however manage to take leave on Monday so technically I have 4 days of leisure with Adel. The best 4 days ever, mind you! The third day got me smelling like poo because Adel made poo in the car and because I carried him around, I too smelled like poo. Gross? Yes, but that's just a fraction of what you get in being a mother. We went to Sunway Lagoon on Sunday to celebrate Sheena's birthday but with no birthday cake in sight, lol! Since I do have some unfinished matters to attend to now, please scroll down  for pictures instead!

Adel with his "I want my mummy!" look

Adel and daddy

papa ngah, mama ngah and mak na

enjoying his banana muffin on papa ngah's lap

Lily Syahirah - the birthday girl :)

Adel turns 9 months yesterday!

Adel sayang,

Mummy should have posted this out yesterday but I was too bogged down with work and stuff and I didn't get a chance to do so. Anyhoo, happy 9 months to you! OK, your accomplishments thus far..you can now definitely crawl and you occasionally creep-ala-commando style, you can stand on your own for a good 5 seconds and then you'd just land on your bum in a thump! You prefer me over everyone else ;). You definitely have a temper which I think you got it from me ;p. You like to stand up and fall down in your cot. You prefer the letter "I"over other alphabets, we're still puzzled about that. You scolded the ball this morning because it won't budge from behind the chair. You try to make conversation with a cat and we call this neighbour cat "cat-cat", so it's permanently ingrained in your head..hehe. Mummy's looking forward to your first birthday sayang!! Can't wait! Ok, have to wrap up now, I still have work to do *sob*. I love you. I love you so much. I love you so so much. I love you so so so so so so so so so so so so much. Hehe. Before I forget, you now have 4 teeth!! Yay!

Ooooo..you have a fave lullaby! That song called "Deliver us" sung by Ofra Haza from the Prince of Egypt. Will tell you more about that later! 


Love you sayang,

Mummy xxx

Life Questions

I had lunch at Bangsar with my colleagues today. I saw a couple with their 2 or 3 year old son. The boy was super adorable and was very opinionated. I thought to myself, what would Adel be like when he's that old? Opinionated as well? I don't mind. I'd definitely want him to be loud, outspoken and of course, opinionated. In short, like me ;p.

And then I went off to a bakery to gaze at the buns and cakes. There were primary school boys there dressed in sports attire and back packs planning on making acquisitions of mexican buns. Again, I thought to myself, what would it be like for me when Adel is prudent enough to handle this kind of transactions? Can he handle it? Would he still be my darling baby once he is able to comprehend the complexities of life? Will he cope? Can I cope with the transition?

Life is full of questions and uncertainties.

*sigh*

I am his MOTHER

I’ve been having a lot of personal issues lately and I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and soul-searching. I’ve concluded that I take motherhood and parenting very seriously. Only because I’m a working mum and I don’t really get to splurge on time with my little one. And maybe because of this I get super sensitive. Like seriously sensitive. Like no one’s beeswax. Once in a while I get insecure on my parenting abilities. And I don’t appreciate it when people criticize my inexperienced and untested parenting skill and do things behind my back.

Adel is a hyper active baby. He cannot be still. He always has something on his mind and he’s on the move constantly. That’s not an issue to me but it does exhaust me sometimes. We normally (read: normally) strap him up in his car seat when we travel. But lately, since he’s getting a bit mature for his age, he wants out from the car seat. I do occasionally give in to his wants but would normally put him back in the car seat once he has had enough fun. This time around because we (with other people) traveled quite far with a few other passengers, Adel refuses to seat in his car seat. But he sits on my lap and sometimes goes sit on other people’s lap too. I don’t know what came over him but he cried non-stop. Like seriously crying and wailing his lungs out as if he had been possessed. Hubby was driving at that time and I got all panicky. Other people tried to calmed him but to no avail. Adel did not stop crying and things had gotten really serious. I lashed out at hubby. I needed help. But he was silent throughout the ordeal.

I carried Adel and pat him on my shoulder. He would stop crying for 5 seconds or so and continued wailing non-stop. Hubby pulled over, stopped the car and brought Adel outside the car. He stopped crying. We decided to change his diaper and gave him a teaspoon of gripe water because we felt that he was having an upset tummy. Other people interjected saying that he does not want to be strapped in his car seat. And he’s going nuts because he was restricted to the confines of his car seat. I argued saying that he was not in his car seat when it happened and he was perfectly OK when we went back to my dad’s hometown. Then those people interjected again saying that during that time, Adel was still little and does not know the meaning of restriction. I went livid. I held my tongue. If I had it my way I would have gone ballistic and shot them with my uncultured and uncivilized mouth. Out of respect I held back and I even held my tears. Hubby did not defend me.

After giving Adel some gripe water, he looked OK and we hit the road again. This time, hubby sat with me at the back just in case Adel went bananas again. He was alright and fell asleep. I placed him in his car seat immediately after he dozed off. He had a good one hour plus nap. When we finally reached another stop, Adel woke up and was a tad bit cranky but he’s always like that when he wakes up from a nap. When other people asked how he was in the car, I said he was OK and the crying fiesta he had earlier was attributed to the upset tummy. Clearly he settled down after a dose of gripe water. Maybe he did go berserk because he was restricted but that was not the main reason why it happened. I know that. Because I am his MOTHER.   

Another reason why I’ve been feeling awful lately is because it has only made known to me that Adel has been eating other foodstuffs without my knowledge. I am very careful and selective when it comes to feeding Adel. I do a lot of research on how and what can a baby eat when they are at a certain stage of life. Maybe I’m a control freak but wouldn’t you if you’re a first time mother? Adel has been getting this annoying bumpy rash on his body. It puzzled me as to what has caused him to have those rashes. Because I thought I knew what he has been eating. I’d usually tell that person on what to feed Adel with. Only a couple of days back I came to know that Adel has been eating Gardenia bread dunk in milk. I, again, went livid. But I said nothing. I don’t care what you dunk the stupid bread in! He is my child. You should ask me what he can or cannot eat. Maybe it is edible for his age but we don’t know if it can cause him to have allergic reactions to it. It irritates the hell out of me. I involuntarily put my trust in you to care for my baby and you do this behind my back. I told hubby about this and he confirmed that he knows Adel has been eating bread. So, you and this other person know about this and dare not ask me whether it’s OK? Need I repeat myself? I am his MOTHER. Hence, I have all the flippin’ right in the world to know about this and all other things associated with Adel.

Their ignorant or plain stupid attitude has taken a toll on my life and my marriage. I felt disregarded, humiliated, useless and pathetic. I have been crying for days. It’s affecting me a lot. To some, maybe I’m overreacting. I concede. But I have all the right in the world to overreact. I have earned those rights. Because I am his MOTHER.

"Mummy, look!!"

"I can now sit on my own!!"

"Unsupported and unaided!"

Yes, at 8 months and 5 days old, our fuzzy little guy has finally reached a new milestone.

And I wept :)

B for Bottles :)

I had always wanted to blog about feeding bottles. I think we tend to take granted the importance of having proper and safe feeding bottles for our babies. I guess I’m one of the unlucky ones when it comes to breastfeeding. Adel just won’t latch to my breasts which irritates the both of us. I ended up expressing my breast milk for him but since he does not latch, which means he does not directly consume milk from me, I’m well dried out even during confinement.

So I’ve been using a lot of plastic bottles because initially I thought that I’ll just throw them away once it is well used. I didn’t pay much attention on whether these plastic bottles were bisphenol-A (BPA), phthalate, and polyvinyl chloride (PVC) free. You say what? Well, these chemicals when combined are lethal and can lead to contrasting effects on the testis and the liver, causing testicular degeneration and promoting abnormal hepatocyte proliferation and carcinogenesis as well as concerns about its potential effects on the brain, behavior, and prostate gland in fetuses, infants, and young children. Mouthful isn’t it? Try googling the effects yourself, alarming I tell you!

Until Dayah bought Adel these babies:

Look at the variety of colours!

Those are Lifefactory baby bottles. These bottles are made out of glass. Yes, it may break but it also has these cool bright colored silicone sleeves which helps to protect the bottle from breakage and provides a great gripping surface and tactile experience during feeding. Other amazing facts on the babies are:

• Bottle and sleeve can be boiled or put in the dishwasher together. Can also go in the freezer, making breast milk storage simple;

• BPA, phthalate, and PVC free (yay!);

• Silicone sleeve is non-toxic and free of plastics;

• Silicone nipple is non-toxic and latex-free;

• Plastic ring, plug and cap are FDA approved;

• Made from borosilicate glass and therefore are thermal shock resistant allowing them to go from freezer to boiling water.

Lifefactory glass feeding bottles are available here in Malaysia. You can purchase them online from myBBstore.com.

Avent bottles are also a godsend. It has proven to reduce colic in babies. I think at one point Adel was colicky only because he was fed from bottles since day one. We have one Avent bottle and one sipping cup at home but Adel still prefers his Lifefactory bottles  Can't really blame him, I love those Lifefactory bottles too, lol! They're so pretty :).

And here's Adel's fave feeding bottles ;)