2010

I want! I want! I want!

picture from google

Adel @ Mama Ngah's

As mentioned before, my sister has been babysitting Adel for the past one week. I quite like the idea of them bonding. Perhaps as a reminder to my sister to have her own bundle of joy pronto, lol! Anyhoo, my sister would email me pictures of Adel just to let me know what he's up to and stuff. I think I can speak on behalf of my sister to conclude that Adel is definitely a handful, lol! Anyway, below are the pictures she sent together with captions on what he's doing.

"Otel tdo"

"Adel x suka flash"

"Otel suka flash"

"Otel dh ready. Td tumpahkn bubur atas sleeping bag tu"

"Dh mandi & mkn ubat"

"Adel tdo kt kedai motor"

"Otel x de keje"

"Otel dh mandi"

"Adel x tdo2"

"Adel Mikail sebok nak panjat tangga"

 

"Adel Mikail having his 2nd nap"

Adel turns 10 months!

Adel sayang,

You are 10 months today! Yay! 2 more months before you officially hit 1! Mummy is super excited, lol! A lot has happened this month. You had, by far, the worst fever ever which subsequently broke into this serious red rash on your skin. Mummy and daddy were super worried. We took you to the docs twice because we were worried sick. You now like to stand on your own two feet, harass daddy's new telly, eat bread, help mummy cook in the kitchen, play with mummy's spice rack and potatoes and oohh you like shower time! Such a hassle to get you out of your tub because if possible you'd like to get all wrinkly under the waters, lol! It's so difficult to change your diapers nowadays too because you constantly roll over. You get all pissy if someone grabs your toy from your hands. You like to imitate others - like coughing after mama ngah coughs, lol! But most important of all, you've become such a darling! You like to smile! Like seriously smile and this without fail, brightens up my day ;) Plus, mama ngah has been babysitting you for the past one week and I'll post pictures of you under her care in due course.  You also had your second trip to Port Dickson this month. You just love the feel of the sand beneath your feet. I think I have  pictures of that *checking*. Adel, mummy loves you so much. So much! More than you can ever think of!

Love,

Mummy

xxx

Still at Home

My previous entry was a tad bit too ambitious. Had to abandoned "going to the office" idea because I was shivering like a cold kitten this morning. Turns out that am allergic to one of the meds. Doc gave me another MC today. I didn't sleep last night either. Had troubles breathing because of the runny nose. Should be sleeping now but I'm just not sleepy. God, what is wrong with me? Watched telly until 3am to the delight of Trinny and Susannah on Granada. Went to bed afterward but only to toss and turn endlessly. Hubby took half of the day off to accompany me to the clinic because my hands were all numb and shivering. Had to send Adel to MIL because I know I wouldn't be able to care for him in this state. I feel a bit guilty though for not going to the office two days in a row. But am sick. I don't like being sick. I mean, who does? Work, work and work, is all I can think of *sigh*.

Little Old Me

I am apologetically down with fever and flu today. Actually,since yesterday but I braved the office for not wanting to miss my outgoing boss' farewell lunch. But this bravery has taken it's toll. I needed a complete rest. So I spent the whole day at home, alone, going off to the clinic, sleeping and eating. It did me some good. Hubby sent Adel to my sisters' in Cheras. Felt a little guilty about sending him there when I could've taken care of him myself but I needed my rest badly. I also, weirdly enough, missed the office and all its busy-ness. But am now dreading the thought of going there tomorrow because I know there's a gazillion of stuff to be done *hangs head*.

Anyhoo, was in PD for the weekend with hubby's office mates. I think PD is overrated. Period. It's starting to get to me. It's so crowded and homogenized. Maybe because it's near to KL so people thinks it's convenient to go for holidays there. Hubby's office mates however were a bunch of happy-go-lucky doers, lol! Had a great time there and there were plenty of food. But I had already been feeling under the weather then so despite the excitement of seeing all the magnificent food, I actually nibbled rather than the customary face stuffing.

Adel is clear from roseola and he is seriously re-charged after all those medical episodes. He is so so so lasak and hyperactive! He never fails to amaze me, which is good but I can no longer keep up with him. He does everything in split seconds! I'm just exhausted thinking about him now, lol! In 2 days time he'll turn 10 months and that's 2 months shy from his first birthday!! Must resume with his birthday plans. I've left that idle for too long now. The only development I have now is the venue. Well, not development per se because we're still thinking of whether to have it at the pool house or cramped in our sardine packed apartment. Both has its pros and cons. But am only expecting 40 guests exclusive of kids. Hmmmmm...what do you think? 

2 weeks shy from 2011. I hate the fact that there aren't many public holidays this month as opposed to December last year. Grrrrrr...more time in the office which is so not good for little old me. But am looking forward to 1 January 2011 though! Going off to Melaka for dinner at Umbai with my daddy and dearest sister and BIL. Am especially looking forward to sotong goreng tepung, lol! Also, a huge commitment beckons me in 2011! I'll keep this as a secret for the time being. And no, not talking about promotion though it wouldn't hurt to have good bonuses and increment too. After all, the No. 1 did say that he is happy with my progress and my work *gloats in a bubble*.

Alright, must call it a day now. Need some sleep for tomorrow will be another long day...at the office *slaps head*.

Night!

Roseola

We don't think Adel has measles because the spots or mumps are disappearing as we speak.  So I googled for explanations on babies with high fever and red spots or rashes. My search resulted in "Roseola". I was relieved to know that it's not as serious as measles but am still worried as to why Adel contracted this disease. Dahla was quite alarmed when the article states that Roseola is a kind of herpes virus!?

Below are explanations on Roseola as a result of me self-diagnosing Adel: 

My baby has a spotty, pinkish-red rash on his stomach. Could it be roseola?

If your baby recently had a fever and now has a spotty, raised or flat, rosy-pink rash, it could be roseola, also called roseola infantum.

Roseola is a fairly mild and common viral illness that usually strikes children between 6 months and 3 years of age. Roseola is caused by a kind of herpes virus, although not the type that's sexually transmitted.

What are the symptoms of roseola?

It's possible to have the virus without having noticeable symptoms. But roseola usually starts out with a sudden, relatively high fever, often above 103 degrees Fahrenheit.

The fever typically lasts three to five days and may end abruptly, followed by the telltale rash. The rash may last for days or only hours.

The rash is pink and may have small flat spots or raised bumps. These spots may have a lighter "halo" around them and may turn white if you press on them.

The rash isn't itchy or uncomfortable, and contact with the rash itself doesn't spread the illness. It's usually seen on the trunk and neck, but it can extend to the arms, legs, and face.

If your baby has roseola, he may also be irritable and tired and have mild diarrhea, a decreased appetite, and swollen eyelids. The lymph nodes in his neck and at the base of his skull may also be a bit enlarged. In general, children with roseola don't appear especially ill, considering how high their fevers get.

About 10 to 15 percent of children with roseola have a febrile seizure. If this happens, your baby may become unconscious and jerk his arms, legs, or facial muscles for two or three minutes. He may also lose control of his bladder or bowels.

Although frightening, fever-induced seizures in young children are seldom serious and rarely harmful. If you can, try to time the length of the seizure. Your baby's doctor will want to know how long the episode lasted.

Should I call the doctor?

Yes. Ask your baby's doctor what her guidelines are for calling when your baby has a fever. (A well-child visit is a good time to do this.)

She may suggest, for example, that you call if your baby is 2 months or younger and has a fever of 100.4 degrees F or higher; if he's 3 to 6 months and has a fever of 101 degrees F or higher; and if he's 6 months or older and has a fever of 103 degrees F or higher.

Call the doctor if your baby has an unexplained rash or a febrile seizure. The doctor will ask about your baby's symptoms, and she may want to take a look at him.

Found the above from here.

OMG!! Measles?!

Was what I said in front of the doc. His high temperature has subsided but yesterday I noticed these visible bright red spots or mumps on his legs, thighs and some part of his hands. The doc ruled out dengue and insect bites but thought that it could have been caused by the allergic reaction to the antibiotics. But I wasn't convinced. He's been taking antibiotics since Monday but those spots only appeared yesterday. Needless to say I was all panicky. So I asked the doc if it's really measles, what should I do? She said wait for a day and if the spots are still there then we should get Adel admitted because he is under the age of one and he has yet to get his measles vaccination. 

I am going crazy.

Very. Worried.

I am supposed to be at home now nursing Adel. He had a very high temperature yesterday. It was very worrying. Went to the docs and she said he had a temperature. Duhh. But I was all jumpy and concerned. I asked the doc whether its dengue? She giggled much to my astonishment. She said to monitor him closely in the next 3 days. If Adel's temperature is still there and worst, rising, then we should go to the hospital. She prescribed him ubat demam and antibiotics. Spoke to Aunty Alang last night. She told me to always make sure that Adel's head is wet so I wrapped his head with a damped towel on top of his Kool Fever on his forehead. Risau sangat malam tadi. Kept on changing the damped towel every 10 minutes and fed him with ubat deman every 4 hours. The antibiotics are to be taken once a day. Alhamdulillah, so far the temperature has subsided but am still worried though. Very worried.

But here I am, at work. Worried. I can't take the day off. Japanese clients wants to execute the agreements at 2.30pm today. See, the disadvantages of being a working mum. I feel like a bad mother already *hangs head*. I am worried. Very. Worried.

And so it is..

If I had known better,...

I just woke up like 10 minutes ago. Courtesy of Adel, of course. Hubby ended up sleeping in the living room with the new tv. Yes, he finally bought one. I was super relieved to have it all over and done with. I can no longer pretend to be interested in tvs and all its magnificent electronic hoo-haas. For I cannot tell any difference between a Sony or a Samsung, I mean, it's just different by name je kan? Butttttttt I did get to gobble on yet another slice of the yummylicious red velvet cake from Bijoux or Bisou and I gladly washed it down with a can of ice cold Coke. Second time in this month and nope, not helping at all!

Anyhoo, was tossing and turning after having my sleep disrupted by Adel. Hubby finally came in but I was suddenly wide awake and had the sudden urge to eat nasi padang. I had to divert this urge of mine into something else, so that pretty much explains why am blogging now.

I thought to myself, what I would've done if  had known better. And I manage to make a list of that:

1. I would have waited a couple of more years before getting hitched - I dated hubby for 7 years. I thought I knew him inside out. But marrying him was like discovering a new side of him altogether. It's like he's a stranger to me. But I learn to accept this along the way. And marriage just takes a big part of you away. It definitely changes you. It takes so much of your time, money, effort and  emotions that you begin to question yourself, is this all worth it? If I had known better, I would have waited. I know when getting myself into this that marriage was a big serious thing and there's more to it than just the cliche "I want to spend the rest of my life with you", but I didn't expect it to be a LOT more that what I have initially thought. It's draining. I would have waited for many reasons, financially, emotionally and stability to name a few. But it did happened. I am married. Do I have any regrets? No. But maybe if I had known better and could have waited a little, I might be able to handle all THIS with dignity and patience. But I get it at times, what doesn't break you makes you stronger and am learning all this with time. And I did gained something beautiful out of this (no, not weight gain), an adorable son whom I cannot get enough of. So there is a hikmah behind all this and I pray to Allah that he guides me along the way.
2. I would not have lived with PIL after marriage - I understand now that even if you've dated someone for several years, going out with him and marrying him is two totally separate things. So you definitely need time to get the feel and accustomed to that person when sharing the same bed and living in the same house. I wish I could have done that in solitude. I need to know him on my own timing. I need to know and assume my responsibilities as a wife on my own timing and preferably in a situation when there's only me and him. My PIL did not interfere with my marriage but their presence made it hard for me to understand the union of me and him. I guess you could say I was shocked and I was definitely overwhelmed. What more with the fact that I was immediately pregnant after just tying the knot. So I guess if I had known better, I'd like to be in a position where there is only me and him and not the rest of the world. Because we need time to work and build on 'us' which I did not get the chance of doing then and am struggling to live my life as a wife and mother now.
3. I would not have stayed with PIL during confinement - I learned that even if you're close or OK with them before marriage and during pregnancy, confinement can put you in a different ball game altogether. I made the mistake of going back to them during my third week of confinement. It broke me. You become very vulnerable and sensitive during confinement. Maybe more in my case because I felt uber sad that mummy was not there with me when I delivered my boy and is not here to be a part of his life. It affected me a lot. So much so that I think I became a different person. I was very sensitive. Confinement with Aunty Alang was good. She took care of me and I had a great time with her because she's my relative and I get to bond with my cousins which did not happen before this. So I felt close to them. Moving to my PIL on the third week was just the straw that broke the camel's back.  I felt lonely and very insecure of everything. It doesn't help also that they their own style of taking care a mother and newborn during confinement was totally different to the style that I had been adapting with Aunty Alang. Every thing became an issue. I cried every 5 minutes to the extent that my OB advised hubby to bring me back to Aunty Alang because I was depressed. It did caused a riff in my marriage and my relationship with PIL. The damage has been done. Was I sorry for the way I acted out? Not entirely. Because no one understood what I was facing and dealing with. No mother, just delivered a baby, hubby did not stay with me during confinement, you do the maths.
4. I would have told mummy so many things about me - But I didn't and she left too soon. I love her with all my life. It breaks me not having the chance to say all that I wanted to say. She's an inspiration to me. She was a very strong women but she was unlucky in love. I have so many things to tell her. But because of a certain crises that had happened to us, I became distant from her. I regret that the most. I was driven by my ego, granted I was a teenager back then, so I was fueling with hate. If I had known that she'd be leaving us, I would have made the effort to rehabilitate our relationship. But it's too late and it didn't happen. I did get to say "I love you" to her before she left for the OT and that was the only time we saw her conscious, to which she replied in a broken voice, "I love you too". And that still lingers on my mind until now. 
5. I would have accepted the post at Petronas - I am now a lawyer and I deal with Islamic banking and finance matters. I like my line of work but with all the commotion and uncertainties revolving my department, it got me thinking and saying, "Mesti senang hidup if accept kerja kat Petronas haritu". I know mummy wanted me to take up the offer but I was arrogant and adamant and I insisted that Islamic banking was my passion. I'm entering into my third year of practice and I feel that I need to move on. So if I had known about my boss leaving and all the nonsense that has been happening recently, it made me feel that it's better for me to be in a secure environment. And that could've been Petronas. But back then, the pay was so low and that was what enticed me to practice. Tamak kan?
6. I would have breastfed Adel exclusively - but I didn't and it wasn't because I didn't want to but it was because I can't. Adel won't latche so I had to express my milk for fear of engorged breasts. But if you don't breastfeed directly, you'd be well dried out even during confinement. And that is what happened to me. I learned that if you breastfeed, you can lose weight easily. I'm heading no where in that department. I'm still fat, fat and fat. My sister calls me garfield because she says I'm fat and cute *sigh*. My weight is my biggest issue to date. I used to work out at the gym religiously and I lost a lost of weight. I was never a skinny girl. I think I was plum and fat all my life but this time around it's a lot more worst because I still have my pregnancy fat on top of my existing body fat. Hubby thinks I only need to tone up and I don't know which planet he is living in. Because at this rate, it takes more than toning up. I need to put my face on someone else's body! So yeah, if I had known, I would have consulted the experts on breastfeeding.

I can't think of anything more to add in the list above. I think I've written down the important ones. If you're reading this, take it with a pinch of salt. The above are life's truths. It happened to me. And look how I turn out ;p 

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Whyyyyyyy???

I am going insanely nuts over this song :)

Of habits and antics

When I get tensed up with work, I tend to google on stuff on the net. Like the other day, when I was saturated with work, I googled P. Ramlee and Saloma *giggles*. I have a tendency to google on any possible matter. It's a habit I'm quite embarrassed off. Do you have any weird habits? But what I really want to do now is go to Borders or Kinokuniya and purchase books! I have not read a proper book in a very long time. I feel as though my intelligence has faded in time! Not that I have much of it in the first place ;p

But when I do get a chance to go to a book shop, my mind would be disrupted by Adel making a scene of not wanting to be in his stroller or be carried around by his daddy. So I'd lose interest in books faster than I can say "orange juice"! I know, excuses-mexcuses! Must make the effort and must find time to revive this habit of mine. Seriously. For the sake of my sanity. Will put this on my to-do list :)

Btw, hubby has been driving me off the wall with his golf antics. I cannot for the life of me fathom why men digs such sport or why such sport was invented in the first place! Hang on, is it even sport? I suspect people play golf because of the social stature. I think if you're old, rich and have nothing better to do, then by all means, play golf. But if you have not hit 30, you rationalize on groceries, you have a 9 months old son and also an amateur husband, I suggest you prioritize what's important and what's not in your life. Gee, must be difficult to chose between golf and son. Hubby, don't take offense, you know I have a tendency to exaggerate. I am after all a proud breed of Negeri Sembilan. "Exaggeration" is our mission in life.

This is off track but I have to write this down somewhere. My trustworthy Kak Ani got herself a new Marc Jacobs handbag courtesy of her husband! The bag was so solid and it screamed Marc Jacobs! Kak Ani jokingly said to me that her husband would be a happy man in the bedroom for at least 2 weeks as consideration for getting her this branded handbag (if you know what I mean!). If its true (the bedroom thing), well done! I told hubby what Kak Ani had told me. Then hubby asked, "Can I get 'it' for 2 weeks straight?", to which I replied, "Not unless you get me a branded handbag". Well, the conversation stops there but you guys should have seen my hubby's face! Macam senyum tak jadi, lol!

Hubby also got me going crazy with his tv hunt! We have been going to tv shops every night! No acquisition was made though. He did came close to purchasing one 2 nights back but the shop did not accept Islamic credit cards. So yes, he is still hunting for a tv. The current one at home is still of good use by it's not as 'canggih' as the one that other people are using. So hubby succumbs to peer pressure. I wonder why his friends do not pressure each other in becoming a better husband or a better father *sigh*. My last telephone conversation with hubby a moment ago confirms that we will be going to KLCC again tonight for yet another 'exciting' tv hunt.

Wish me luck and patience guys. Maybe I can get him to buy me a slice of those yummylicious red velvet cake from Bijoux later. Then I'll gladly keep my trap shut ;p.

P/S: I love you hunny! 

Busy Busy Bumblebee

I've not been updating this space regularly. I've been swamped with work, work and work. I've been terribly busy. I even feel like a bad mother and wife at times. I've not been cooking proper home meals save for the last couple of days when I did mac and cheese and beef stew. I did however manage to take leave on Monday so technically I have 4 days of leisure with Adel. The best 4 days ever, mind you! The third day got me smelling like poo because Adel made poo in the car and because I carried him around, I too smelled like poo. Gross? Yes, but that's just a fraction of what you get in being a mother. We went to Sunway Lagoon on Sunday to celebrate Sheena's birthday but with no birthday cake in sight, lol! Since I do have some unfinished matters to attend to now, please scroll down  for pictures instead!

Adel with his "I want my mummy!" look

Adel and daddy

papa ngah, mama ngah and mak na

enjoying his banana muffin on papa ngah's lap

Lily Syahirah - the birthday girl :)